Sunday, December 2, 2007

Sock Is Crap (aka Oscar Picks), by Hannibal Lecter




Your anagrams are showing, Doctor.

Rather than do another dreary Oscar prediction post exactly the same as everyone else’s, I decided to do it a little differently. I’ve turned all my choices into anagrams, i.e. rearranging the letters to make new words. That way it takes a little bit of de-coding effort on your part, and it can help evaporate your day while you pretend to be busy at the office.

They are grouped in fives. Each category has two groups of five. Each group of five is labeled either “Me” or “Them.” See the code below for the difference. I’ve mixed the categories up and stripped them of their labels. Don’t worry. I’m sure the two Best Picture groups should be obvious, and you can take it from there.

Semicolons separate the person and the movie title. I added some commas here and there to make it sound halfway readable. My advice …. Start with the easy ones and work from there. Like you were planning another course.


Disclaimer: No word or phrase is intended to describe the person or film. They are jumbles that are meant to be amusing, not insulting.

Me= What I would choose based on what I have seen so far.
Them= My guess at what the nominations will be in the end, based on what I’ve seen and projections based on “buzz,” whatever that is.


Me
O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
CIA Zod
Hens Make Tea
Hermit Note
No One Fry Colt Round Me

Them
A No-Halt Mill Cycle
Eat Not Men
No One Fry Colt Round Me
Her Billed Web Tool
Dost Ewe Deny

Me
Jane Mulin; Puked Conk
Been Sorry; Hens in U.S.
Tag, Move Air Lark; Cone
It Dials In Town; A No-Halt Mill Cycle
So As Nine Roar; Eat Not Men

Them:
Can’t Chat, Belt; Hermit Note
It Dials In Town; A No-Halt Mill Cycle
I Am A Rise, Tom; Owned! You Braked For The Evil Deeds
Real Job is Out; He Swills On Raw Air
So As Nine Roar; Eat Not Men

Me
A King’s Red Ore; O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
Hit! Ream! Run!; Corn Lot
Driver’s Ash, Sir; CIA Zod
A King’s Red Ore; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Brews Lite Rot, Her Billed Web Tool

Them
A King’s Red Ore; O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
Driver’s Ash, Sir; CIA Zod
A King’s Red Ore; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Gave SEC Summary; Eat Not Men
Brews Lite Rot; Her Billed Web Tool

Me
Jerry Bowed To One; CIA Zod
Coors Cipher; Be Arch
Britt Pad; O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
Rob Hallhook; It Held in Tow
Brave Dime Jar; No One Fry Colt Round Me

Them
Brave Dime Jar; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Monk Wins Toil; A No-Halt Mill Cycle
Rob Hallhook; It Held in Tow
Undo A Lap; Her Billed Web Tool
A Pill Of My Four Shy, Hip Men; He Swills On Raw Air

Me
Early Is Me; Corn Lot
Aye! Flaky Feces; O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
O My Semen Jolt; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Gone Cool Grey; A No-Halt Mill Cycle
Easy, Dallied Win; Her Billed Web Tool

Them
Gone Cool Grey; A No-Halt Mill Cycle
Hens Zinged To Lawns; I Can Arrange Gas, Tim
O My Semen Jolt; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Easy, Dallied Win; Her Billed Web Tool
Jenny Po, Phd.; Dost Ewe Deny

Me
Did More Wankin; O, Do Sassy Bras Jaw John’s Ear, Orbit For a Time, Trade The Essence
Jan Doe, The Conal Net; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Diver Chin Fad; CIA Zod
Then Soy Dad, Hermit Note
Loan-out Pander Shams, Her Billed Web Tool

Them
Burn It, Tom; Dost Ewe Deny
Loan-out Pander Shams; Her Billed Web Tool
Hi, Jot Grew; Eat Not Men
Jan Doe, The Conal Net; No One Fry Colt Round Me
Sly Tit Décor; I Can Arrange Gas, Tim

Me
Omits A Want; Poems Rest In Ears
Abut; Hens Make Tea
Wingate; Usual Tin Cot
Can’t Chat, Belt; Hermit Note
A Right Kinky Eel, I; Eat Not Men

Them
Just Here, L’ici; Who Are For May
I Am Torn, Ol’ Radical; Erase No Liver
Can’t Chat, Belt; The Glazed Hoe Beat In Leg
A Right Kinky Eel, I; Eat Not Men
A Rent-A-Home Blancher; Dost Ewe Deny

4 comments:

Jeff McMahon said...

This is the best Oscar article ever.

Pinko Punko said...

I think I got most of them. Let me check.

Pinko Punko said...

I guess I'd like to see your Namesake review now.

K. Bowen said...

I've never actually written a full review of The Namesake. Not at the site, not at my old paper. I did write a brief. I think it does an excellent job at capturing the contradictory impulses of the country.